Jokes

With the stress that dealing with autism can bring, it's important to have a laugh sometimes. Jokes can be taught to children with autism as a way for them to help bridge social barriers. Jokes can also help literal thinkers gain a better understanding of figurative language, double meanings, and abstract thinking.






Printable version of joke list

Joke of the week:

How does a snowman get to work?

By icicle.

We will be adding a new joke each week and appreciate any submissions from our readers.

 

Jokes

What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?

A box of quackers.


What says "Oh, oh, oh"?
Santa walking backwards.

What kind of food do you get when you cross Frosty with a bear?
A brr-grr.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
"Quack, quack."

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims.

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.

Why was the policeman in bed?
Because he was an undercover cop.

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul-friend.

Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
Because they are afraid of flying off their handles.

Why are mummies good secret agents?
Because they are good at keeping things under wraps.

What do you call a fairy that hasn't taken a bath?
Stinkerbell

What did the French fries dress up as for Halloween?
Masked potatoes

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly.

Why is the math book so unhappy?
Because it is full of problems.

What is the longest word in the dictionary?
"Smiles" because there is a mile between each s.

Why didn't Goldilocks sleep well?
Because she had lots of night-bears.

How did the farmer fix the hole in his jeans?
With a cabbage patch.

What do you get if you cross the Abominable Snowman with Dracula?
Frostbite.

What did summer say to spring?
Help, I'm going to fall!

What kind of hair do oceans have?
Wavy.

Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback.

Why is it tough to trick a snake?
Because he doesn't have any legs to pull.

Why aren't there any skeleton stunt people?
Because they don't have the guts.

What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.

Why didn't anyone want to sleep with the daddy dinosaur?
Because he was a Bronto-snore-us.

What did one stoplight say to the other stoplight?
No don't look at me, I'm changing!

Why did the man put the rabbit on his head?
Because he had no hare.

Why did the bacon laugh?
Because the egg cracked a yolk.

What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at dinner time?
"May the forks be with you."

What color is a burp?
Burple.

Where do bunnies go to dance?
A hare ball.

What did the teddy bear say when offered dessert?
No thanks.  I'm stuffed.

When is the chef the meanest?
When he beats the eggs and whips the cream.

Where do ants go for their holidays?
Frants.

What do dogs get when they graduate from college?
A pedigree.

Why was the broom late?
It over-swept.

What do you get when you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A walkie-talkie.